Grandmother Tanner watched him run away. Then she turned her eyes to Brian. The battle might have been lost, but the war was not. She put back on her (somewhat) happy face.
“And what do you have there, Brian?” she asked sweetly.
Brian, looking terrified, lifted up HOW TO DRAW MONSTERS.
Once she read the title, Grandmother Tanner reacted as though she were holding a pop-up book on intestinal parasites.
“`How to Draw Monsters.’ Well. You know, you can’t really make a career out of drawing monsters!”
Jeff stood there as though he had been slapped, as though someone had held up a mirror to show him the ugly, unvarnished truth about himself. He felt bewildered…a little angry…and very ashamed. “Mother, it’s Christmas.”
Davey suddenly peeked around a corner upstairs. “Yeah, Grandma!”
Grandmother Tanner looked around sharply.
“Grandmother!” Davey yelped, and ducked back around the corner.
“Besides, I know several guys at my company who basically draw monsters for a living,” Jeff said. “And baby dolls, and other things, I guess, but they draw monsters and get paid for it.”
Grandmother Tanner didn’t look impressed. “And that’s supposed to prove me wrong?”
“Look, mother, you may not like my job, but – ”
Grandmother Tanner ignored him, and turned to Brian. “Alright then…you can’t really make a good career out of drawing monsters.” She looked back up at Jeff. “Is that more accurate?”
Okay, that tore it. Jeff was about to let loose with both barrels when Granny Jobson walked in, smelling of cranberry salad and wearing an apron and oven mitts.
“
Jeff sullenly watched her go. Granny Jobson saw him, and poked him in the ribs. “No sourpusses at my table, Jeff, especially at Christmas.”
“It’s my mother.”
“It generally is,” Granny agreed. “Don’t worry, I spit in her tea for you.”
Jeff stared at her in horror. “Granny, you didn’t!”
“Gotcha!”
Jeff grinned, and put his arm around her. Together they walked towards the dining room. “You know, actually, maybe that’s not a bad idea.”
“Yeah, well, it’ll cost you.”
“How much?”
“How much you got?”
By the time he sat down at the table, Jeff was feeling much better.
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Copyright © 2008 Darren Pillsbury. All rights reserved.
1 comment:
I think I love Granny. :-)
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